


Telling the family

by oooknuk



Series: Love and Other Bruises [2]
Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 22:04:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10750713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oooknuk/pseuds/oooknuk
Summary: Ray Vecchio gets some news





	Telling the family

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters you recognise will belong to Alliance. No infringement of copyright intended. Not for profit. 
> 
> Author's notes: This story will make more sense if you read "Love and other bruises" first. It is a sequel to that story.

Damn thing arrives Friday morning. I know who it's from - I've seen enough of Benny's handwriting over the years to know it immediately. A big envelope, and when I open it, two smaller ones fall out. 'Read me first', one says - and just so I won't get confused, the other has 'Read me last' written on it. That's Fraser for you. I am half tempted to do them out of order, but that would be childish - wouldn't it? I slit open the first one, and find a plain white card. I read it, and drop it like it burnt my hand. What the f....?

It's an invitation for me and Stella to come to a 'commitment ceremony' in Chicago - between Benton Fraser and Ray Kowalski. Holy Mary Mother of God. Sweet Jesus. Oh Shit. Pick your expletive of choice. Benny - and Kowalski? Fuck. I know Benny had been staying with Kowalski after that attack - knew Kowalski had been hurt so bad they thought he'd never get over it, and Fraser had helped him a lot. But married! Benny? To a guy? To... that guy? Stella's ex? I am annoyed to find my hand is shaking when I go to pick up the second envelope - what is this going to say - that Stanley's pregnant? That they've decided to adopt? For a second I want to throw all of the paperwork into the trash. My friend - my former best friend, a homosexual. Someone I thought I knew better than myself. Someone who's been lying to me for years. Someone I don't know at all. It's the sight of Benny's handwriting that makes me go through with after all - the handwriting that is just the same as always - strong, clear, careful. That hasn't changed, at least.

It's a letter from Fraser.

> Dear Ray,
> 
> I expect at this point you are feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the news. So, before you read the rest of this letter, I suggest you go and get yourself a cup of coffee and sit somewhere comfortable.

I almost grin at that - just the advice we used to give to people who got bad news. Almost, but not quite. But I do as he says, sit on the sofa, and pick the letter up again.

> Right. Comfortable? Well. Where to begin. First of all, I apologise for not letting you know by phone - I wanted you to have a chance to think about your reaction, and your answer to the invitation. Telephone calls can lead to misunderstandings, in my experience.

Ouch. Oh, nice touch, Benny. Throw a little guilt in, to keep me hooked.

> And I also apologise for not telling you about the change in my circumstances - the decision to get married is a very recent one, and although Ray and I have shared strong feelings for each other for some time, you will appreciate that given his difficult recovery, that I am rather protective of him. I couldn't risk an adverse reaction setting him back.

Oh, yeah - ouch again. That damned birth announcement Stella's moron secretary sent out. Boy, Welsh blew through me like a dose of salts on that.

> To be perfectly frank, Ray, I wasn't sure if we should ever tell you. I'd be willing to bet, not with money of course, that you are probably wishing right now that I hadn't.

Got it in one, Benny. Never missed the obvious, did you?

> And I suspect that it will lead to some interesting conversations between you and Stella.

Thank you, Fraser. Like I need that.

> Believe me, I thought long and hard about it, and Ray and I have discussed it at length. He felt he couldn't yet face writing to Stella - he hasn't completely resolved his feelings about her remarriage and your new baby - but he does want her to know. He let it be my decision as to whether I told you or not. In the end it comes down to this - if we are going to be married, then we want our friends and family to know. You are both - you are my friend and my brother, and if I can't share this with you, then I can't share it with anyone.

I have to stop reading at this point, because my eyes are getting kinda blurry. My friend and brother - my best friend. I remember when Benny first said that, in a warehouse where some badass perps were doing their level best to kill us. Remember the first time I saw Fraser, in that brown uniform of his, looking so honest and clean and upright - screwing up my undercover setup. Talking to him about family in that shitty diner where he ate most of the time. A man I would kill for - a man I almost killed, a man who forgave me for it, and a man who asked me to forgive him for making me do it. God, I miss that guy.

The letter's got more in it, so I wipe my eyes and read on.

> Forgive me then, Ray, for the selfishness of wanting you to approve of this, or at least accept it. I wanted you to know about this, to not hide something so important from you. I have been hiding from myself for so long, afraid to show myself to the world. Ray has given me that courage, and helped me to accept who I am, what I feel - and what I need. I need him. And I need you. God help me, I need both of you, because I love you both.

Can't read any more. Fraser. Benny. Saying he loves me, saying he needs me. He only came close to admitting this once before, when I ran out of his apartment over Victoria. But no-one's forcing him to say this, I'm not running away from him.

Benny has changed, after all. And it took a funny looking Polack cop to do it.

I can't sit still, and go over to the window. Stella's out on the lawn, playing with our boy on a rug. One of the things I always looked forward to was Benny finding the right girl, having kids - being godparent to them, because I always knew I would be. As the years went on, I started to wonder why it was so hard for him to find someone - the man had women falling out of cupboards for him. Even thought of pushing Francesca a bit harder towards him - but decided that as much as I loved both of them, I couldn't do that to either of them. And now. No wife, no kids. Just a man who rubs most people he meets, including me, the wrong way. A relationship most people will despise him for, because his partner is a man. I wanted so much more for him.

I go and get the letter again.

> Ray, I want you to come and bear witness to our commitment, because it is important to me. But I don't want you to come if you don't want to, if it disgusts you, if you disapprove.

But it does, and I do, Fraser. It goes against everything I believe, everything I was taught - everything I thought I knew about you. Jesus, man - you are, you were so fucking straight they coulda used you for a ruler. What were you doing, screwing around behind my back? Lusting after me? Was what I thought was friendship, something sicker than that? Did I get the whole fucking thing wrong about you and me? The thought makes me feel nauseous. I need another cup of coffee. I take the damn thing with me into the kitchen, and only after I make that cup can I finish reading it.

> I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you. Since I've known you, there was no-one but Victoria in my life before Ray, and I wasn't sure how I felt about him until a year after we met. Trusting you, being your friend, was and is the single most important thing that has ever happened to me. Without that, without the warmth you and your family gave to me, and the affection and friendship you showed me, I could never have been able to accept the love I have for Ray, and his love for me.

Oh, fuck - don't do this to me, Benny. Don't blame me for this - I don't want this for you, can't you see that? For a mad second, I think I should use my influence over Fraser, call him and try and bring him to his senses, but then I have to laugh. Me - change Benny's mind over something? When did that ever happen?

> This has been a difficult letter to write, and I think I have said all I can this way. If you come to Chicago, we'll talk more. I hope you will.
> 
> Your friend,
> 
> Benton Fraser.

And there you have it - a typical Fraser mindfuck. It's your decision Ray, I'll hurt like hell if you don't come, but if you do, you have to accept the whole package - Fraser and Kowalski, Benny and Stanley. It's the goddamn Riv all over again. I'll tell you all the reasons why blowing it up is the only thing you can do, but it's your choice, and I'll let you give the _coup de grace._ Some choice. Accept me or lose me. And, as always, it's no choice at all.

Stella comes in with my son, Anthony, and hands him to me.

"Who's the letter from?" I give her the invitation, and watch the shock appear. She doesn't say anything, so I give her Fraser's letter. I let her read while I play with my little boy, his green eyes so full of life and love and my dreams for the future.

Stella reads through to the end, without stopping or commenting, then folds it up. She goes very still, like she's afraid if she moves, she'll fly into a million pieces. I wait for her to speak. This is gonna be rough for her to accept, to understand. Worse than for me. Finally she lifts her eyes to mine.

"I can't go, Ray. I can't."

"I know, honey. I understand." She watches me with our child, walking around the kitchen, trying to decide what to do. Wondering if in twenty years or so this little bundle in my arms might turn around and say, "Dad, I want you to meet the love of my life, and by the way, he's a guy." Would I love him any less? I can't believe I would. My own father would have beat me to a pulp, but then he'd have done that for a lot less than finding out I was gay. I always told myself I'd be a better father than my own.

And I'm going to be as good a friend as Benny deserves.

"I'm gonna go, Stella." She nods, and gives me a little smile. She's gone pale, and I know she holding back a lot she wants to say, but she's a tough girl, Stella. And a kind one, though she tries hard to hide it.

"Tell Ray ... Tell them both ... tell them I hope they'll be happy."

And in the end, that's all we want for them.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written nearly twenty years ago under another pseudonym. It hasn't been revised since then.
> 
> I am posting this and my other stories from this period purely so people can read them if they choose. I won't be reading comments, and don't care if you leave kudos. I'm dumping them and running.
> 
> Having said that, I worked hard on them, and I hope they still entertain someone out there.


End file.
